HI. My name is Louie. Welcome to my blog. I am a grown up baby.

My whole life, I've prided myself on being a kid at heart, in reality confusing this with being downright immature - in other words - a big baby, which now makes me a 56 year old baby man.

Check back from time to time, to watch as little Louie grows up. Kind of like watching Santa Claus fade away into oblivion or the 'tooth fairy' falling out of the sky. Bummer.




I guess it takes what it takes to grow up. I'm a little slower than some - OK, a lot slower (56 at the time of this writing) and may only be around 18 emotionally, but it's a good start. To be honest, I'm still not real keen on the idea of growing up, most days preferring to escape on grand adventures, in my head. And therin lies the difference - why Louie's finally growing up - today, these 'great escapes' are in my head and I'm not heading out the door with a backpack.

This blog chronicles a lifetime of insanity, in the truest sense of the word - BiPolar disorder, manic depression it used to be called. I am an outspoken advocate for mental health, freely describing my experience, strength and hope with anyone that's interested.

Many of these blog posts are from people that have written to me, many suffering emotional distress. All of these writings come from the heart, most of which are raw and unedited. If you are of the overly sensitive disposition - you might want to steer clear.

If you really wannna have some fun ... check this out ... www.dailygooddog.com

I do hope you enjoy my rantings. This is therapy for me, and a journal that shows me that I am, in fact, maturing - proving at long last to ex-wives, that it is possible even though pigs don't fly.

Louie Rochon



Saturday, March 28, 2009

Once Upon a Time

Last year, (2008), I thought it might be interesting to request from 'Good Dog' readers to submit a one page auto-biography of their lives, which I would publish in a series of Good Dog's, entitled 'Once Upon a Time.' I thought it only reasonable to do what I'd asked others to do - so I set out to right a one page bio.

A one page bio of my life ... that sounded easy enough. Was I ever in for a surprise! This was one of the most difficult and revealing personal growth exercizes that I'd ever attempted and yet at the same time, incredibly liberating. I've included, for the world to see (as usual) my inner workings, entitled "Once Upon a Time." I hope this encourages you to try it for yourself. Remember, one page.


“Once Upon a Time ...
... a normal rambunctious 4 year old boy, speaking only French, came to America with his parents. Life, as he knew it, dramatically changed overnight. One moment, relating to those around him, yet literally a plane ride away, surrounded by people that he could not understand and strange sights and sounds ... this little boy was petrified with fear, confused as to why his life made no sense anymore.

This early event, feeling very much alienated and alone, suffering from intense feelings of insecurity resulted in a lifetime pattern of fear, self doubt, feelings of worth-less-ness resulted in years of intense loneliness and eventually, self hate. Unconsciously, every future life event would be effected by this early emotional patterning.

Always coming from a foundation of fear, low self esteem and self hate, life seemed to alternate between two extremes; debilitating depression and self imposed isolation … “I’m not worthy of sharing life with those I see around me, I’m not good enough, I don’t fit in, I’m defective, worthless, useless … I hate myself, etc” … , or grandiose behavior, “Please, someone notice me, I exist and need to feel accepted, loved and appreciated.”

Over a lifetime, this little 'Boy-Man' tried everything to eliminate the pain of feeling 'terminally unique,' which resulted in countless addicitions (self medication), including compulsive overeating, alcohol, drugs, sex, workaholism, accumulating 'stuff' and geographic relocations inclusing a 3 year, 5000 mile walk across America. Yet no matter what he did or where he found himself - there he was.

These countless attempts to fill a void eventually resulted in looking in the one place he never thought to look … within ... towards God, as he had always misunderstood 'Him.' A lifetime of pain had brought this little boy (emotionally) to a place of absolute surrender and eventually over a long road of transparent discovery, to a deep peace, acceptance, forgiveness and eventually, self love. This is a process that goes on today and I anticipate, for the rest of my life.

Today, life is good, very good for this boy-man, filled with immense gratitude and appreciation of the abundance and infinite love that has always surrounded him, yet was always too afraid to see. Today, this boy-man continues to grow by opening his heart to life and dreams of a future life of usefulness, passion, purpose and love.

What has this boy-man learned in life? … That life is what we focus on. Heaven or Hell - It’s a personal choice. That we are never alone (unless we choose to be) and that any adversity in life can be transcended when working as a team, co creating with the God of our choice.

3.26.09
Louie Rochon aka 'Boy-Man-in training'
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