Dear Louie,
I am sending a page of my Journal that I HAD to write last night. I would love your comments on it as I still am not too clear on the feelings I tried to express. I am very eager to read the new chapter of your book.
Love Dad
Monday March 12th 2007, 2.30 AM.
In the course of the last six months I have witnessed a major change in my outlook towards life. I purposely used the word witnessed because I did not search for it, I did not wish for it. It just happened and it seems in retrospect that it was quite sudden.
Six months ago I was still living in my house that I had acquired thirty two years ago. I was still strongly attached to all the worldly possessions that I had accumulated during my life time. I do not know what induced this sudden change in perspective. It seemed that I suddenly desired to live a simpler, less encumbered life. Material possessions seemed to have lost their attraction. I do not mean to say that I had stopped admiring the paintings that I had on the walls or cherishing the books that were filling my numerous bookcases. I still looked at them with great pleasure but at the same time I felt that if I was separated from them I would get the same pleasure at remembering them as I had to own them.
I am at a loss to find the proper words to express this change of perspective and even more so to explain why it happened. Sometimes I feel that Louie would be able to shed light on this situation because I think that he has experienced the same shift of emotions several times in the course of his life. Without much advanced planning I decided to sell my house and give much of my treasures to friends and people I felt would enjoy them. I never felt that I was making a mistake and would come to regret it. I seemed to be guided by a strong force that pushed me in this direction.
Some people have hinted that I should try to sell some of my possessions but this thought not only did not appeal to me but was quite unpleasant to me. I could not sell what I loved; I had to give it away and rejoice in the pleasure that I felt from the pleasure I was creating in others. The thought of selling any of the objects in my possessions not only did not appeal to me but it was even repulsive.
Some cynics might have thought that these new feelings of mine were hypocritical. I had not exactly drifted into poverty. My new apartment is comfortably furnished with many of my prized possessions and the sale of my home has provided me with enough money to last me for the rest of my life.
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Hello dad,
Regarding my impressions of your journal entry, I must start by telling you that I am filled with great joy at your newfound revelation.
It doesn't surprise me as your underlying character has always rejected material possessions as an end to the means. My life, my character was formed, with pride by your, as you often referred to it as your 'Peasant Bohemian personality' ... which I always thought was an admirable trait.
You know that my boyhood hero was Thoreau, primarily because of his beliefs about material possessions, how they own you as opposed to the illusion that we own them. The very thought of we human beings owning anything is ridiculous in and of itself. I like the philosophy of the Native Americans that lost most of their lands because they could not understand the concept of land ownership - which the white man coveted, cheated and stole from them. They believed, as I do, that we are simply stewards and furthermore, I believe this applies to anything ... People and Possessions ... we simply get to take care of them and interact with them, but we do not own them.
Eckhart Tolle, a modern day philosopher who specializes in the manifestations of ego, believes that we, primarily prevalent in the Western civilization (and I use that word 'civil-ization very loosely) have a bad habit of identifying who we are by what we 'own'.
I also love Tolle's test for egoic attachment of people, places or things ... in that all you have to do is imagine, in your mind, how you would feel if whatever it is that you wish to test, were removed from you. The more the pain, the greater the egoic attachment. He does not say that things are bad in and of itself - it's how we identify with those things that can cause the problem.
I've always loved Thoreau's quote …
"A Man is Rich in Direct Proportion to the Number of Things in Which He Can Leave Alone".
I have learned that I can enjoy someone else's property as much, if not more so than them, as I can enjoy it's beauty, form and function yet don't have to sell my time into slavery for the sole purpose of paying for it, maintaining it, insuring it, protecting it, worrying about losing it, cleaning it, etc.
I have, as you know, patterned my life after this belief, or I should say, the latter part of my life, after I woke up to this reality. I think one must experience, personally, this lesson before they truly understand it and make it a part of their belief system. No one can teach you this. You must live it, and if you are lucky, you will experience complete loss and the potential blessing associated with this loss. I say 'Potential Blessing' as I'm not saying that this lesson is automatic - I have found that it is NOT!
I have lost everything I 'owned' a number of times (people and things), only to harden my resolve in getting it right the next time and building my ownership of 'whatever' even greater, in a vain attempt to find satisfaction and peace of mind. I further believe that peace of mind is the greatest asset that a human being can acquire, and yet it is there, right in front of them all along. But, as I painfully learned for myself, you must find it yourself, if you are lucky.
I mention all this, because my impression of your recent revelation is that you have been given a great gift, the gift of peace of mind - the loss of your egoic attachment to your things. Whether you lost your things or not is irrelevant; it's that you lost your attachment to you things that has set you free. You have just recently realized, personally, that you are NOT your things, that you are a full and complete human being, exactly as you are, right here and right now, and you always have been.
There is another saying that I am quite fond of …
"Enough is Never Enough, Until You ARE Enough"
... and I believe that until we can accept ourselves as enough, in the present moment, just as we are, we'll always chase down people, places and things for our fulfillment and ultimately, disillusionment.
Tolle's primary teaching is that of Spiritual Enlightenment. This is a big word, but he breaks it down as follows: Spiritual Enlightenment is nothing more than higher consciousness (another big word) yet higher consciousness is nothing more than Presence and Presence is nothing more than Be-ing present, right here - right now - at this very moment in time. Everything else, which is where we spend most of our lives, is obsession with either the past or the future. As Tolle puts it so eloquently...
“To Be identified with your mind is to be
trapped in time: the compulsion to live
almost exclusively through memory and anticipation.
This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future
and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the
present moment and allow it to be.
The compulsion arises because the past gives you
an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation,
of fulfillment in whatever form.
Both are illusions.”
I am so happy for you dad. You are now free and able to truly en-joy your life, without any encumbrances, drink in and savor the sweetness of your memories as well truly embrace those new memories that you will make, in the present moment.
I love you Dad.
Louie
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